www.mypost-its.blogspot.com is now official.

so much for trying to come back to mindsay. at least i tried.

i'm beginning to notice that everything significant for me tends to happen in two's. or at least that's my hypothesis. today was just not a very fortunate day. First off, we went to see the cadaver for AP bio today and that was something i never want to do again. I really thought i could handle it and then, well i almost passed out. Blood, guts, surgery, cutting, knives, and the like make me squirm and cringe and today was just all those rolled into one cold, dead body. You always see the women faint in movies, you know, just put the back of their hand to their head and lightly fall over. no, not so much.

I just went to my grandma's funeral this summer and i thought i pretty much was over those emotions, but seeing that cadaver was deeply disturbing. I know that person donated their body for purposes such as that, but i just cant handle seeing people manipulate and disect a human body. I couldnt help but think of seeing my grandma in her casket and how when i was at the funeral i kept imagining her just waking up and looking around, wondering why everyone was crying.

was it wrong for me to imagine my grandma laying on that steel disection table? i almost wanted to scream out and tell the doctor to just let her lay in peace.

After leaving the room and sitting outside in that cold, concrete hallway I couldnt keep my composure any longer. I was glad i was alone out there so no one could see the tears running down my face. I really do miss grandma, and i really dont like seeing dead people, and i dont like blood or guts or surgery or cutting or knives or the like and, i hate the smell of formaldehyde. damn, now i just know i'll have nightmares about this.

why am i so weak i cant bring myself to do anything.

oh, olivia, refer to above line for how it went tonight.

mindsay seems to have gotten better during the time that i have forsaken it. perhaps i will return. at least just for a change of pace.

moving all my old entries is the only thing stopping me. but i dont really have anything else to do tomorrow. well, except for write my english essay.

i didnt go to the game. i didnt go to the dance. and i didnt regret it at all.

i still think it's all a dream.

so the first day of school. i cannot believe how long it felt. i actually fell asleep in english for a second. great way to make a first impression. but i think it was just from a lack of sleep. and i already have a fucking ton of homework which is very very not cool. i guess i'm a junior now and better get used to it.

anyways, i havent done anymore of my homework.

but it was fun seeing everyone again. though i saw lots of people during the summer, there were deffinately some people i was happy to meet up with again.

sushi got moved up today. but even though there wasnt any consuming of food products. it was so much fun. i dont really think that it looked like i had fun though, i was just out of my element. but i warm up easily. i had homework tonight but for the first time i decided to fuck that and have fun. it's been a long long time. i still cant believe it.

still up for sushi on friday though and i'm hungry already.

yes, vauge i know. but it's always this way.

is this really my life? i'm begining to feel it's not. well at least a part of my life that is just beginning. this shall be fun. finaly everything is going ok.

i'm just starting to forget, that's all.

minday is pissing me off now that they changed everything around. so i shall write in here until i find a better place. i'm considering going back to blogspot. since it's being a bitch and not letting all you post comments, just email them to me if you want.

anyways. today was the last day of summer. how depressing is that.

but it was a day well spent. sorry about not going to george rogers park but last minute plans of going to the beach with olivia, anna, and her bf barclay were too good to resist.

sushi this friday and i'm excited.

So, mindsay has upgraded its self to a newer version. i'm not sure i like it so far. actually, i dont like it at all. but i'm sure i'll get used to it. i just really liked my old design and now that's all gone. i'm thinking about switching back to blogspot. but that means moving all my old entries too. i dunno.

haha, and im aware of the irony of my design. i hate mornings.